I am the women at the well

I am the women at the well that was once desperate for a love that she could not see, yet fully believed. I have never dated so I am not an adulteress; however that didn't stop my hunger for a love I have never felt. I searched my books, and I watched my friends. My literary heroes and my friends all had something I did not have. Love. One day a nice lady told me about a love that was so deep, I couldn't comprehend it; however I accepted it. Almost 10 years later and  I still don't understand the love that I have. However I know it exists. I know it exists because there is a peace in my heart. I know that the love so deep exists because my life is mirror reflecting His sacrifice. I see the reflection in myself, my only hope is that others can see it as well.
I am the women at the well who draws her water in the high heat of the day because I am too ashamed to talk to other people. My shame isn't anything either of us can see with our eyes, however there is one who can see my invisible shame no matter where I hide. My regret is the fact that I killed the giver of my love. I continue daily to kill him. I wish I knew how to stop, but I don't. The wonderful thing about my love is that no matter how many times I nail Him to a tree He still accepts His destiny. He tied his destiny to me. My destiny is Hell's great death, so that is where He followed me.
I am the women at the well who lived a sordid lifestyle focused only on myself. At first I only wanted to drink that water that would quench my thirst. I never knew of the excitement that this water would continue to bring me. I drink it everyday savoring the fresh taste in my life. That water has helped nourished me to be the person that I am today. I am full of mistakes, but I know that I am free. No longer under the punishment of my actions, but under the forgiving grace of my choices. I am the women at the well who made the choice  to drink the eternal water.